Come At Us Bro

"So Lex and me, we go into this house right? Boss said it was just gonna be a run-of-the-mill info gathering thing, client just wants to know why his girl's been acting so suspicious lately, no biggie. So we think, okay, we slip in, snoop around for a bit, we're out. Turns out the house wasn't quite as empty as we thought. Harpies, man! This bitch comes outta nowhere and starts clawing at our faces, we completely trash the place chasing after her and trying to take her down with whatever the hell we can find laying around. I think I threw a remote at her at one point.
"Anyway, long story short, we cause, uh, considerable property damage killing this thing. And since the boss did apparently inform us that there would be a possibility for 'activity by Unconfirmables' with this case (seriously, who the hell has the time to read all the way through these damn briefs!) me and Lex were responsible for what we like to call 'MIB ops'. You know, cleanup, spreading misinfo about weather balloons, that stuff. I'm pretty sure after all the pay docks we're gonna end up paying the firm for the next couple months."
-Jack Bellingsworth, Junior Investigator, WSU

"Dammit, Bells, if you're not gonna read the briefs at least hand them over so I can. I can't spend another month eating nothing but fucking cup noodles!"
-Alexandra Nehru, Junior Investigator, WSU